14 Comments
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Lisa LaMagna's avatar

Good writing, really pulled me in, especially the first 2/3, also very believable the way young women are whipsawed by media/social these days. I felt the later bit was rushed. Reminded me of the Robert Chambers & Jennifer Levin sordid tale in the 80's.

Doug's avatar

I thought your story was interesting, discomfitting and compelling. I really like your short essays and stories. The first half was particularly well-written.

As satire though, it didn’t quite work for me. Good humans should protect each other from our individual weaknesses. Kevin was wrong for agreeing to beat up a stranger. He should have resisted her dangerous desires. Would you pour drinks for on an alcoholic? And Irina is a liar. Both Kevin and Irina are despicable characters. For me, this obscures the satire of #metoo. Instead it becomes a story of well-deserved comeuppance. I've been told I have an overarching moral authority. I’m curious if I’m unusual in my interpretation…what do other people think?

Michael Mohr's avatar

Interesting!! Well, as a writer (and human, actually), I'm always inclined to lean away from binaries and towards complexity and nuance. I actually personally don't think of either character as 'bad.' I think they're both human and imperfect and caught up in their own prejudices, desires, fears, etc. There are often things characters or people 'should' do...but so often people do the opposite! I find that complexity personally much more interesting. Thank for the read and thoughtful comment!! Appreciate.

Doug's avatar

Yes, thinking in binaries closes off plenty of literary avenues. ‘Crime and Punishment’ is an incredible book, despite (because of) the cold-blooded murder by the main character. Normally such an act would cause me to write him off and read no further, but the psychological tsunami that ensues is absolutely compelling.

I can handle characters making mistakes. I just usually draw the line at sexual assault and vindictive dishonesty. Such characters no longer interest me. It’s my loss. But it’s honestly me.

Stephanie Loomis's avatar

I have to agree with Doug. And, to be candid, neither character was nuanced or complex. He was a selfish boor and she was part of vengeance movement. Neither garnered much sympathy because they were completely self-absorbed.

I’d be curious to read a longer form version where each character has a backstory and their internal struggles over the event and publications are explored. There has to be more than the stereotypical SWM and the AWFUL.

Michael Mohr's avatar

Huh. Interesting take. I'd have to think more on that, re the lack of complexity. You may have a bit of a point. Part of the problem was length. It was originally 4,400 words, too long for Substack. I got it down to 3,700, but the plot itself demanded a lot of writing. So it was tough in that regard. But maybe it could also be a longer piece, or even expanded into a novel or something, wherein that complexity could be shaded in more deeply. Anyway. Thank you for reading and commenting. I appreciate that :)

Stephanie Loomis's avatar

Maybe a serial? Every week a different POV?

Michael Mohr's avatar

That would be interesting!

Richie Barnes's avatar

Some very good writing here Michael. Enjoyed the piece very much. Plenty to confront here, no matter the discomfort.

Michael Mohr's avatar

Thank you, Richie! 🙏