Without missing a beat he comically sneered, “Almost over!” That is Laugh Out Loud stuff. So much so I couldn't get it out of my head for most of the morning. Life should not and does not need to be serious (most of the time). As the saying goes, if you can't laugh at yourself than nobody can. As for aging well I believe we all turn in to our parents whether we like it or not. I started to stop caring around the age of 30 and this year i'll be 60, so you can imagine how little I now care. It really is something to look forward to.
Ha!! I love this response. I look forward to that. Not to turning into my parents—although in many ways I feel that has largely already happened—but the caring less and feeling lighter part. I get snippets of it. But I want the whole caboodle!
Thank you for moving me to tears and making me laugh at the same time. I wish you best of health, long life, and to be loved and appreciated by others, your family and/or your found family.
I agree with Susan about the archetypes. It’s so much easier to love someone else’s family, to enter the fold with no history, a tabula rasa. And yes, Andrew’s highlighted comment from your post captures the dynamic of most social gatherings where emotional intimacy has not been developed--that which we treasure in close friendships. These gatherings for holidays and milestone birthdays are superficial by nature, accepting the reality that deep discussion in any group of disparate participants is unlikely. For my two cents, that perspective is useful.
Love it. This reminded me of an early date I went on with an ex of mine. We were walking through town window-shopping when a nice little elderly woman sidled up next to us, ripped a huge fart, and then just walked away. For a second we looked at each other like: did that just happen? Then we died laughing. Getting older has some perks, and being comfortable with yourself is one of them.
Great post. Let out an audible laugh at this line:
"Everyone wants the clan to know how great their career is going, how much money they’re making, how fantastic their new school or house or partner is, etc. In other words: It’s fucking boring. And fake. Skin-deep."
What a great piece, and I was stunned to see how well your "second" family turned out. Somehow you pulled off a happy ending without being sentimental or sappy. That balance is not easy. I remember when I was nineteen and dating a wealthy young woman (I had put off going to Notre Dame to work in steel plants). One day, her father offered me four new tires for my Rambler American if I'd disappear. I decided to hang around, but, considering his daughter and I never married, I sure could have used those tires.
I just loved reading this. Times have changed and we grow. Our perspectives change, we understand more. We are all born with archetypes of the perfect family, friend, school, leaders, etc. It's our job in life to figure out what those things are in reality. I'm still at it at 75. Everybody dies it. It doesn't stop. It's what makes life interesting. It seems like you've managed pretty well.
Agree. Well said. It is too easy for me to ‘compare my insides with other people’s outsides’ sometimes. In other words: Seeing other families and thinking they’re ‘perfect.’ It’s hard when you hear stories like, Oh my parents LOVE Tom etc. And you’re like, We’ll my girlfriend’s parents DON’T love me!!! (Ex I’m referring to here, not current girlfriend.) But at the end of the day: It’s all about acceptance, which I think is what you’re saying. And of course all families are dysfunctional to varying degrees. What’s that first line in Anna Karenina?
The first sentence of Tolstoy's novel Anna Karenina is: “Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way” (Tolstoy, 1875-1877/2001, p.
Also, family feuds are all about ruffled feathers. A disturbance of our self image. No one sees us as we see ourselves . And if we know our faults, we try to compensate for them, so we may seem false to others, and we are always changing. It's easy to be misunderstood and to misunderstand. Anyone who expects perfection in this world will end up with a broken heart. Thsts why we have comedians: to help us confront life's incongruities. Here is something nice for you.
It’s hard being the outsider. But it gives you the chance to see a lot others miss.
Agree. Good point.
Age is a myth. You only have this moment, the past is gone and the future is not here. Whether you live till 40 or 140 - it's still that way.
But I'll remember that line for a long time - "Almost over." It always is.
It’s a great line!
I have a 96 year old neighbor that I help out, she is the same way.
❤️❤️❤️
Without missing a beat he comically sneered, “Almost over!” That is Laugh Out Loud stuff. So much so I couldn't get it out of my head for most of the morning. Life should not and does not need to be serious (most of the time). As the saying goes, if you can't laugh at yourself than nobody can. As for aging well I believe we all turn in to our parents whether we like it or not. I started to stop caring around the age of 30 and this year i'll be 60, so you can imagine how little I now care. It really is something to look forward to.
Ha!! I love this response. I look forward to that. Not to turning into my parents—although in many ways I feel that has largely already happened—but the caring less and feeling lighter part. I get snippets of it. But I want the whole caboodle!
Thank you for moving me to tears and making me laugh at the same time. I wish you best of health, long life, and to be loved and appreciated by others, your family and/or your found family.
Glad I could make you laugh!! Laughter is the nectar of the gods! And thank you: Being accepted is an interesting path!
Love this ❤️
I agree with Susan about the archetypes. It’s so much easier to love someone else’s family, to enter the fold with no history, a tabula rasa. And yes, Andrew’s highlighted comment from your post captures the dynamic of most social gatherings where emotional intimacy has not been developed--that which we treasure in close friendships. These gatherings for holidays and milestone birthdays are superficial by nature, accepting the reality that deep discussion in any group of disparate participants is unlikely. For my two cents, that perspective is useful.
Love it. This reminded me of an early date I went on with an ex of mine. We were walking through town window-shopping when a nice little elderly woman sidled up next to us, ripped a huge fart, and then just walked away. For a second we looked at each other like: did that just happen? Then we died laughing. Getting older has some perks, and being comfortable with yourself is one of them.
Exactly! Honestly, a big part of me looks forward to it 😂
Me too. I’m gonna have fun with it ;-)
Great post. Let out an audible laugh at this line:
"Everyone wants the clan to know how great their career is going, how much money they’re making, how fantastic their new school or house or partner is, etc. In other words: It’s fucking boring. And fake. Skin-deep."
Right!? Glad I made you laugh! Thanks for reading/commenting.
What a great piece, and I was stunned to see how well your "second" family turned out. Somehow you pulled off a happy ending without being sentimental or sappy. That balance is not easy. I remember when I was nineteen and dating a wealthy young woman (I had put off going to Notre Dame to work in steel plants). One day, her father offered me four new tires for my Rambler American if I'd disappear. I decided to hang around, but, considering his daughter and I never married, I sure could have used those tires.
Hahahahaha 😂😂. Yeah. I hear you there. I guess every relationship is a learning experience.
Thanks for writing and posting this powerful piece. I sincerely enjoyed it.
Thank you for reading and commenting. I appreciate that 🙏
I just loved reading this. Times have changed and we grow. Our perspectives change, we understand more. We are all born with archetypes of the perfect family, friend, school, leaders, etc. It's our job in life to figure out what those things are in reality. I'm still at it at 75. Everybody dies it. It doesn't stop. It's what makes life interesting. It seems like you've managed pretty well.
Agree. Well said. It is too easy for me to ‘compare my insides with other people’s outsides’ sometimes. In other words: Seeing other families and thinking they’re ‘perfect.’ It’s hard when you hear stories like, Oh my parents LOVE Tom etc. And you’re like, We’ll my girlfriend’s parents DON’T love me!!! (Ex I’m referring to here, not current girlfriend.) But at the end of the day: It’s all about acceptance, which I think is what you’re saying. And of course all families are dysfunctional to varying degrees. What’s that first line in Anna Karenina?
I had to look it up:
The first sentence of Tolstoy's novel Anna Karenina is: “Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way” (Tolstoy, 1875-1877/2001, p.
Also, family feuds are all about ruffled feathers. A disturbance of our self image. No one sees us as we see ourselves . And if we know our faults, we try to compensate for them, so we may seem false to others, and we are always changing. It's easy to be misunderstood and to misunderstand. Anyone who expects perfection in this world will end up with a broken heart. Thsts why we have comedians: to help us confront life's incongruities. Here is something nice for you.
https://fb.watch/iWnYz_3qQu/
Beautifully articulated ❤️