This is beautiful Michael. So many similarities to...well, I'm sure so many sons' lives - just swap out an Ojai hike for a scene under an old car's hood, or a major league baseball stadium, or even that time he took us to work...but I'll tell ya, if you want to crack an impenetrable stoic male facade...you nailed it with Hooch ; ) ...there's just something about the Spirit of Dog that melts. Love this and am looking forward to reading the others' takes too.
Capturing a complex relationship in our mind, never mind in writing, is very challenging. You did a great job here. Reading about the last few years with your Dad, and the changes you both went through gives me hope for all of us. Hope for redemption, trust, and love at any time. Well done Michael.
This is so deeply moving. Your father was lovely, as are you. He wasn't weak the way he was, but full of wisdom. In marriage, you have to be, and you learn to be, and you want to be. Now you see it too.
This was such a great, engaging read. I’m happy for you that you and your dad had the time together when he was ill. Thanks for sharing an amazingly well written stack.👏✍️
This is terrific. I’m preparing a post about my growing up with no dad. It’s true. You had a dad. Not perfect but you had him as your dad and in him you saw what you did not want to be and what you did want to be. He angered you and aroused many more emotions. Lucky you. I feel more motivated to write my article after reading yours. Thank you for your writing
Sep 20, 2023·edited Sep 20, 2023Liked by Sincere American Writing
It’s writing like this that attracted me to your work in the first place, and you keep going deeper, getting closer to the bone, more himself. Sweet, raw, and true. Bravo Michael. Another man commented on the series post that your piece here brought him back to his own father—as it did for me. Cheers my friend.
This is fantastic, Michael, and I love the healing that comes in at the end. Your recognition that your father had an inner life, even if he couldn't express it, and even if it was different from yours, is powerful. For him to share with you that your birth was the greatest day of his life -- what a gift. Many fathers keep that to themselves. So your dad broke his reticence in that most important way. It's the most basic part of being a father, something I try to convey to my kids, that nothing they could ever do will make me stop loving them. There is no asterisk next to that love. And it seems that your father helped you feel that despite all the ways you pushed against his boundaries. If you ever become a father yourself, that will be an important reference point.
I recently realized that my hero now needs my help as the once robust, active, wiseman is now aging. In my mind he is always the Dad of my youth who is an amazing example. (big sigh)...these moments hit hard. Anyone else living this?
yes! Part of my own fatherhood is that, even though I don't have children of my own, I find myself fathering my own parents at this point... not because they are so old as to be incapacitated, but as our roles have shifted in the family. Now I'm the one to call family meetings, untangle disputes, and calm the waters.
I refuse to do this role reversal. Is this ignorance? Stubborn? Righteous? Maybe it’s reasonable to ask my father and my mother to fill the roles of parent once and for all in a manner and way that I might feel them? I’ve seen others their generation do so, why not them? Thank you for your share and perspective. Has me thinking and contemplating.
This is beautiful Michael. So many similarities to...well, I'm sure so many sons' lives - just swap out an Ojai hike for a scene under an old car's hood, or a major league baseball stadium, or even that time he took us to work...but I'll tell ya, if you want to crack an impenetrable stoic male facade...you nailed it with Hooch ; ) ...there's just something about the Spirit of Dog that melts. Love this and am looking forward to reading the others' takes too.
Capturing a complex relationship in our mind, never mind in writing, is very challenging. You did a great job here. Reading about the last few years with your Dad, and the changes you both went through gives me hope for all of us. Hope for redemption, trust, and love at any time. Well done Michael.
This is so deeply moving. Your father was lovely, as are you. He wasn't weak the way he was, but full of wisdom. In marriage, you have to be, and you learn to be, and you want to be. Now you see it too.
Great snap of the two of you by the way. I was transported back in time by your father’s clothes!👌
This was such a great, engaging read. I’m happy for you that you and your dad had the time together when he was ill. Thanks for sharing an amazingly well written stack.👏✍️
This is terrific. I’m preparing a post about my growing up with no dad. It’s true. You had a dad. Not perfect but you had him as your dad and in him you saw what you did not want to be and what you did want to be. He angered you and aroused many more emotions. Lucky you. I feel more motivated to write my article after reading yours. Thank you for your writing
What a beautiful, moving piece of writing. Thank you, Michael.
This article reminded me of the profound impact my dad had on my life. His wisdom was immeasurable. I aim to live his legacy every single day.
👍❤️
Thank you for writing this.
Thank you for reading 🙌
It’s writing like this that attracted me to your work in the first place, and you keep going deeper, getting closer to the bone, more himself. Sweet, raw, and true. Bravo Michael. Another man commented on the series post that your piece here brought him back to his own father—as it did for me. Cheers my friend.
Thanks Bowen. Look forward to your piece!
This is fantastic, Michael, and I love the healing that comes in at the end. Your recognition that your father had an inner life, even if he couldn't express it, and even if it was different from yours, is powerful. For him to share with you that your birth was the greatest day of his life -- what a gift. Many fathers keep that to themselves. So your dad broke his reticence in that most important way. It's the most basic part of being a father, something I try to convey to my kids, that nothing they could ever do will make me stop loving them. There is no asterisk next to that love. And it seems that your father helped you feel that despite all the ways you pushed against his boundaries. If you ever become a father yourself, that will be an important reference point.
Thank you Josh. Means a lot.
Beautifully written and very moving, Michael. You helped open up my own memories in a good way. Thank you.
You’re welcome! Thank you so much for reading and commenting! ❤️
Lovely and moving piece. Your gut reaction on that mountain top was right, though--navigate differently in your marriage. Good luck and God bless
Thank you for your thoughts. And I appreciate the read!
Really beautiful Michael.
❤️
I recently realized that my hero now needs my help as the once robust, active, wiseman is now aging. In my mind he is always the Dad of my youth who is an amazing example. (big sigh)...these moments hit hard. Anyone else living this?
I get this. Big time. Thanks for the comment.
yes! Part of my own fatherhood is that, even though I don't have children of my own, I find myself fathering my own parents at this point... not because they are so old as to be incapacitated, but as our roles have shifted in the family. Now I'm the one to call family meetings, untangle disputes, and calm the waters.
Is that the sort of thing you're talking about?
I refuse to do this role reversal. Is this ignorance? Stubborn? Righteous? Maybe it’s reasonable to ask my father and my mother to fill the roles of parent once and for all in a manner and way that I might feel them? I’ve seen others their generation do so, why not them? Thank you for your share and perspective. Has me thinking and contemplating.
Yes. The role reversal was an eye opener. Realizing it will never be as it was.
or, perhaps, as it always was
It is always moving when you write about your father. This piece, I think, especially so. Thank you for sharing it.
❤️