I recently posted a story on Medium about how alcoholism killed my father. I wrote the story because comments leaned towards misinformation and rhetoric when I mentioned AA as an option for alcohol addiction. The story was to show not how AA failed my father, but how he failed AA. He didn't share. He never participated. On the day of his retirement and after 15 years of sobriety, he cracked open a beer, and he never stopped. He was dead 3 years later.
I'm glad to hear of your successful sobriety, no doubt ongoing for life. I applaud your use of AA as a tool to help you achieve that. I know it helped me. I felt I had to write the painful post the same way you needed to tell yours. My audience was labeling AA as a cult. I needed to stop these comments dead in their tracks. I hope my personal story helped explain what AA is and how it helps. Your story is further proof.
Thanks for sharing. I know you'll have a happy Thanksgiving.
Lots I resonated with. Especially about our country. If America were so terrible, how come so many people are trying to get it? I hope we all can appreciate our country more while continuing to make it better. Great piece. Grateful I stumbled upon your Substack.
Great post. Life without gratitude is simply too hard. We all need more of it.
I remember an incident from when I was a kid in a rush who cut in front of a guy in a van at a gas pump. When the other side of the pump was vacated, he parked to use it. I watched as he lowered a wheelchair from the van, muscled himself into it and started filling his gas tank. He then turned his attention to me. “How are you doing, son.”
I mumbled something about not very good, and turned the question back to him. He smiled.
“My wife loves me, my kids love me, my dog loves me. If things were any better, I wouldn’t know how to act.” When he finished, I felt like he was towering above me in that wheelchair.
Gratitude can be a life changer, both for those of us who finally learn how to be grateful and because of those who share their gratitude with us.
I wrote a post awhile back about my own experience with learning to be grateful and learning to accept gratitude directed at me. I apologize in advance for the gratuitous Keith Richards memes.
The memoir about stealing the Jim Beam daily for months (??OMG!!) would have been good but this piece was great and, I think, what we all needed to hear. Thanks.
I am a humanist and always trying to see the why behind the actions so my question while I was reading, knowing what a great, well-rounded guy you seem to be, had me wondering why you were so angry at the world back then. I don't know much about narcissistic traits, are we born that way or does it develop for a reason?
In the busy summer months in my touristy town, so many of our visitors are generally pissed off for no reason, while they are on vacation and the locals are working. They can be nasty and it makes me wonder what's up with them. They need to read your post! I know this is a random sidebar to the gratitude piece but lately I've been thinking about chronic irritation and what to do about it. Gratitude is the answer, I appreciate you pointing that out.
I often think of all the people who have been so kind to me throughout life even though I did just about everything possible to show I was not worthy of such gentleness.
But I think I'm really only alive because of those people--strangers and friends--who showed me kindness when I was all but begging them not to.
Powerful piece. I think being truly deeply grateful and to understand it's true meaning one needs to experience on some level the other side of that. I plan on referring to your part about America next time my daughter (college age) rolls her eyes about me loving this country.
Experiencing the depths to which people can hurt each other in this world is stunning but the lessons learned from its destruction are lost if we allow the hurt to poison our selves. Self respect is a first line of defense for emotional warriors, and at the center of that strength is love and gratitude. Here's to the gentle warriors!
"I see this type of feeling in today’s polarized politics, in racial animus on both the fringe right and the fringe left. It won’t take us anywhere positive. It never does. The only way out is through, as they say. We have to face our inherent inner demons. No person is so bad he or she has zero good. No person is so good he or she has zero bad. We’re all damned complex, nuanced, layered, contradictory individuals." WORD.
You are an inspiration. I am grateful to have read this. Gratitude does not come easily to the deeply injured in life, but when gratitude is accepted into one’s heart it can make the arduous times more tolerable and good times more joyful. I know- Iv’e lived with the unthinkable and also have been blessed with life’s gifts. I could not continue on without gratitude. Thank you for writing this! 🙏
I feel you, Michael.
I recently posted a story on Medium about how alcoholism killed my father. I wrote the story because comments leaned towards misinformation and rhetoric when I mentioned AA as an option for alcohol addiction. The story was to show not how AA failed my father, but how he failed AA. He didn't share. He never participated. On the day of his retirement and after 15 years of sobriety, he cracked open a beer, and he never stopped. He was dead 3 years later.
I'm glad to hear of your successful sobriety, no doubt ongoing for life. I applaud your use of AA as a tool to help you achieve that. I know it helped me. I felt I had to write the painful post the same way you needed to tell yours. My audience was labeling AA as a cult. I needed to stop these comments dead in their tracks. I hope my personal story helped explain what AA is and how it helps. Your story is further proof.
Thanks for sharing. I know you'll have a happy Thanksgiving.
Keep up the good work.
Regards
Congratulations on your journey. Indeed, gratitude is a gift and the way you have come to terms with it is just beautiful. Happy thanksgiving!
Lots I resonated with. Especially about our country. If America were so terrible, how come so many people are trying to get it? I hope we all can appreciate our country more while continuing to make it better. Great piece. Grateful I stumbled upon your Substack.
Great piece. Anger has no purpose and is a wasteful energy. I’m so sorry about your father. Sounds like you are on a positive path of healing.
Thank you for teaching gratitude. ❤️
Great post. Life without gratitude is simply too hard. We all need more of it.
I remember an incident from when I was a kid in a rush who cut in front of a guy in a van at a gas pump. When the other side of the pump was vacated, he parked to use it. I watched as he lowered a wheelchair from the van, muscled himself into it and started filling his gas tank. He then turned his attention to me. “How are you doing, son.”
I mumbled something about not very good, and turned the question back to him. He smiled.
“My wife loves me, my kids love me, my dog loves me. If things were any better, I wouldn’t know how to act.” When he finished, I felt like he was towering above me in that wheelchair.
Gratitude can be a life changer, both for those of us who finally learn how to be grateful and because of those who share their gratitude with us.
I wrote a post awhile back about my own experience with learning to be grateful and learning to accept gratitude directed at me. I apologize in advance for the gratuitous Keith Richards memes.
https://switters.substack.com/p/words-of-wonder
Michael, thank you so much for this piece. I've got a border collie too! Life with these dogs is never dull.
The memoir about stealing the Jim Beam daily for months (??OMG!!) would have been good but this piece was great and, I think, what we all needed to hear. Thanks.
I am a humanist and always trying to see the why behind the actions so my question while I was reading, knowing what a great, well-rounded guy you seem to be, had me wondering why you were so angry at the world back then. I don't know much about narcissistic traits, are we born that way or does it develop for a reason?
In the busy summer months in my touristy town, so many of our visitors are generally pissed off for no reason, while they are on vacation and the locals are working. They can be nasty and it makes me wonder what's up with them. They need to read your post! I know this is a random sidebar to the gratitude piece but lately I've been thinking about chronic irritation and what to do about it. Gratitude is the answer, I appreciate you pointing that out.
I often think of all the people who have been so kind to me throughout life even though I did just about everything possible to show I was not worthy of such gentleness.
But I think I'm really only alive because of those people--strangers and friends--who showed me kindness when I was all but begging them not to.
Very moved by this. Found gratitude much later in life though I thought I had experienced it before that. It’s a lightning bolt.
Powerful piece. I think being truly deeply grateful and to understand it's true meaning one needs to experience on some level the other side of that. I plan on referring to your part about America next time my daughter (college age) rolls her eyes about me loving this country.
Experiencing the depths to which people can hurt each other in this world is stunning but the lessons learned from its destruction are lost if we allow the hurt to poison our selves. Self respect is a first line of defense for emotional warriors, and at the center of that strength is love and gratitude. Here's to the gentle warriors!
Thank you, Michael. Lovely post to begin my week. I plan to repost it in my Monday morning cup of thoughts! 💜
"I see this type of feeling in today’s polarized politics, in racial animus on both the fringe right and the fringe left. It won’t take us anywhere positive. It never does. The only way out is through, as they say. We have to face our inherent inner demons. No person is so bad he or she has zero good. No person is so good he or she has zero bad. We’re all damned complex, nuanced, layered, contradictory individuals." WORD.
You are an inspiration. I am grateful to have read this. Gratitude does not come easily to the deeply injured in life, but when gratitude is accepted into one’s heart it can make the arduous times more tolerable and good times more joyful. I know- Iv’e lived with the unthinkable and also have been blessed with life’s gifts. I could not continue on without gratitude. Thank you for writing this! 🙏
Good article. Gratitude and thankfulness are tough sometimes.